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高考0分作文讽刺高考【通用3篇】

小编: 甜味拾荒者

大家都写过作文吧,借助作文人们可以反映客观事物、表达思想感情、传递知识信息。怎么写作文才能避免踩雷呢?下面是小编精心整理的高考0分作文讽刺高考【通用3篇】,供大家参考借鉴,希望可以帮助到有需要的朋友。

高考0分作文讽刺高考【通用3篇】

高考0分作文讽刺高考【通用3篇】一

  【眼中的泪水】

  当我看到这个题目的时候,我顿时菊花一紧,虎躯一震,难道清晨爹妈飞的帮我烧的高香灵验了,此乃真佛祖保佑,让我先提个肛冷静冷静!

  出题专家估计患脑癌了,深入灵魂的热爱,除了钱,还能有特么什么,还括弧不能是梅花,你怎么不禁菊花啊,莫非钟情于菊花残,满屁伤的快感,还是热衷于少小离家老大回,菊花已变向日葵的刺激,得!为了高效利用有限的空格,我就不费口舌和笔墨抨击脑残,脑瘫,脑水肿的出题专家了

  钱,为什么我对你深入灵魂的热爱呢?其实,我一直是个做事高调,为人低调的安静小鲜肉,不怎么愿意这么暴露我放之四海而皆准的热爱滴,但是为了60分,索性豁出去了!有钱,我可以将碰瓷的人直接碾死;有钱,我可以不纠结扶不扶大爷大妈?有钱,我可以把qj混淆成强行发生性关系;有钱,我可以与王思聪论贱;有钱,我可以把小泽玛利亚,吉泽明步年包了;有钱,我就可以不限购,不摇号,还可以买100个停车位,让没有停车位买不了车;有钱,我可以把六号线设成专列,天天上班不用挤哭了,有钱,我让朋友圈都特么给我分享点赞,分享一次200,评论一次100,点赞一次100,有钱,我就开辆黑色劳斯莱斯,雇几枚黑人保镖,天天蹲北电,中戏门口,看到女神就让保镖铺红毯,披貂皮,闪光灯一直闪到她眼瞎……

  你看说着说着就到了500字了,你们画得的格子完全不够人发挥啊,你们别嫌我俗气,觉得我现实,最重要别给我零分,做人得厚道,不能因为撰写的文章不是你喜欢的尿性,你就粗暴狂野的.给我一个零,苍蝇再小也是肉!

  不见得我写一个,啊!菊花!那你金黄的脸颊,如同康河柔波一样柔暖,啊!菊花!你那纤尘不染的灵魂,抚摸着我向往田园的赤心,啊!菊花!我爱你,我爱你,爱到深入灵魂!就是伟光正,就是高大上,这就是妙高酷!我就是热爱钱热爱的深入灵魂,怎么着,中国民法,刑法,交通法,经济法不许吗?还是治安管理处罚条例不准了,我深入灵魂热爱钱最简单明了,最直截了当,最呼之欲出,最振振有词,就是哥有钱了,就特么不用为了迎合你们的yy,而不得不yy你们的yy!

  离结束的时间还有20分钟,这颗被热爱点燃的赤裸火热的心依然澎湃的久久不能平复,作为意气风发,挥斥方遒,血气方刚的热血男儿,能在静待了XX年的破军之战中,洋洋洒洒豪谈自己深入灵魂的热爱之物,何以能不热血澎湃,何以能不精神抖擞,何以能不肾气十足。还有十分钟,畅想一下3个月后,玩着游戏吹着牛,坐在树丛搂着妞,想想不免都有点儿小鸡冻。说的这么有理,想的这么到位,自己都竟无言以对了。

  离交卷了时间还有5分钟,我突然想起了当年老师教导我们作为的写作技巧,就是凤头猪肚豹尾,现在到了我豹尾鞭辟入里的完美收尾了。

  为何我的眼中常饱含泪水,因为我爱钱爱的特么深沉!多么感同身受的热衷,多么纯真无邪的热爱,多么深入灵魂的钟情!

高考0分作文讽刺高考【通用3篇】二

  父亲总说我们这一代的孩子很可怜,不会玩,不会乐,不像他们那会儿,一身土却快乐幸福得不得了。———题记

  父亲是地地道道从陕北长大的,虽说进城当国家干部也十几年了,可父亲仍乐意并保持着在农村时的思维方式,在儿时的思维方式避开尘杂,追求最自然的本质。因而父亲总在家乡饭、农村、农民上找到自己的快乐幸福。

  父亲不喜欢吃山珍海味,不喜欢吃上千元的大宴,不喜欢正儿八经地坐在茶楼里品茶,不喜欢扎着领带穿着西装陪人喝酒。父亲说,这样的生活总不是个味儿,其实一点也不快乐。父亲喜欢吃大碗大碗的羊肉面,喜欢吃半个拳头大的羊肉萝卜馅饺子,喜欢吃钱钱饭,还要放盐喝稀饭,喜欢吃刚煮好的撒了盐的大土豆,喜欢吃陕北的南瓜子。母亲总说父亲很土不会享受,可父亲说过着农民般的日子,就是他最大的快乐幸福。

  这就是父亲的思维方式,追求的不在于所谓的品质,而在于回忆中的那份快乐幸福!

  父亲不喜欢坐高级的小轿车,不喜欢整天坐在电脑电视前无休止地娱乐,不喜欢躺在按摩椅上舒服地看报纸,不喜欢扎堆儿没完地闲聊。父亲说,这样的生活看似悠闲,其实并不自在,谈不上快乐幸福。父亲喜欢在周末自己骑上摩托车到郊县的农间地头走一走,爬上小小的土堆,盖着帽子先舒坦地睡个午觉,随后望着无际的麦田自在地哼上一曲。到处走走,到处看看。有一次,父亲受邀尝到了刚摘下的新鲜柿子,回家乐道了一晚上。

  这就是父亲的思维方式,不追求所谓的情调,只聪明地在大自然中汲取快乐幸福!

  父亲不喜欢冠冕堂皇的客套话,不喜欢勾心斗角的为官之道,不喜欢虚情假意的迎来送往。父亲说,这样的生活在有些人看来也许挺风光,可那是个空壳,一点也不快乐幸福。父亲喜欢和农民打交道,高兴和家门口炸油条的聊聊地里的庄稼,乐意从车上下来帮老汉推上一截子架子车。周末到农民家坐炕沿儿上吃碗汤面条儿更是常有的事。叫几个农民朋友到家里美美喝上几杯,更能让父亲高兴好几天。

  这就是父亲的思维方式,不追求所谓风光,只在跟农民的最朴实的交谈中快乐着,幸福着!

  父亲有着最朴实自然的思维方式,因而才有了自己最舒心的快乐幸福。祝老爸永远快乐、幸福!

高考0分作文讽刺高考【通用3篇】三

  第一篇

  Dear Bob,

  I’m very happy to receive your letter, and I’m glad to hear that you will go to China to learn Chinese here. I have already found a fiat for you. It is on Fangcao Street, which is not far from Jianxin Chinese School. Bus No.11 can take you there, and it is one stop before the Chinese School. The flat is on the third floor with 3 rooms, one of which is bedroom, the other two are bathroom and kitchen. There are a bed, a sofa, a desk and some chairs in this 25 square-metres small fiat, and the rent is 500 yuan per month. Maybe this fiat is not as good as your wish, but I’ll try my best to meet your needs. If it is not suitable enough, write to me and I will look for another better place.

  Hope you will come here soon!

  All the best!

  Yours,

  Li Hua

  第二篇

  Dear Bob,

  Welcome to China! You wrote to me to find a place for you.

  I have found an apartment on Fangcao Street near Jianxin Chinese School. It is on the third floor and there’re three rooms in it: a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom. There is a bed, a sofa, a desk and a chair in the bedroom. The house is 25 square metres and the rent is 500 yuan per month.

  Also from this house you can get to your school easily. Just take the No.11 bus at the bus-stop in front of the building. It is only one stop. At last, will you please tell me the time you arrive? Then I’U be able to meet you at the airport, see you.

  Best wishes !

  Yours,

  Li Hua

  第三篇

  Dear Bob,

  I’m glad to hear from you.

  Welcome to our city in september. I’ve found a suitable house for you.

  The house is on Fang Cao Street, not far from the Jianxin Chinese School. If you take the No.11 bus, it is just one stop.

  It is a flat on the third floor of a building. It has three rooms, a living-room, a bathroom and a kitchen. You can cook yourself. The mirror, the basin and the bathtub are very convenient for you. In the living-room, there is a bed, a sofa and a desk with chair. The desk is next to the window. It will be good for study. The total size is 25 square metres and the rent is 500 yuan a month.

  Will you be satisfied with this flat, or you want another one? Just let me know. I’ll try my best to help you.

  Yours,

  Li Hua

  第四篇

  Dear Bob,

  How are you these days?

  I’m so glad to know that you’ll come to our city to learn Chinese. You asked me to find a place for you. Now I’ve found one which I think is pretty good. The place is on Fang Cao Street which is near the No.11 bus stop. It’s just one stop away from Jianxin Chinese School.

  There are three rooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a bedroom. Though it is not very big, only 25 square metres, I think it is suitable. By the way, the rent is 500 yuan per month. I hope you’ll like it. If not, I’ll try to find another place for you.

  Yours,

  Li Hua